Real Mums: Joslyn, Rotterdam, Netherlands.

Name: Joslyn Oppenheimer
Kidlet: Uma Lucia (2.5 years)
Location: Rotterdam, Netherlands

What’s something fun your family does together?
We bike EVERYWHERE! For function and for fun, we use our bike for all occasions. Our daughter has been riding on our bike since she was about 18 months old. Everyone here knows how to use a bike, and they can do so with 3 children on the bike, 5 bags of groceries dangling from the handlebars, while talking on the phone! To prove how invaluable our bikes are, when we get a have a problem with our bike, it is 10x more tragic than if something were to happen to our car.

What language/s do you speak at home?
At home we speak “Spanglish” -  our own hybrid of North American English and Argentine Spanish. Outside of the house, we speak Dutch, but not as well

Are there any local cultural events that are great for families/kids?
In the warm weather months (of which we have very few!) there are a lot of farms and markets which are super kid-friendly. In fact, we just went to one this weekend where you could ride on a pony, jump on a trampoline and take a tour of an organic farm. Another great one for kids which is SUPER Dutch is Queen’s Day (30th April) when the entire country dresses in orange and the whole country parties. It’s also a time when everyone sells their used toys/furniture/etc in front of their own house and everyone gets some great bargains, which the Dutch just love!

Where’s your favourite family spot?
Probably our own little garden. We love to have BBQ’s, play in the grass or dig around in the sandbox. There is very rarely any sun in the Netherlands, so as soon as there is, you’ll find us hanging out in our garden getting a major dose of Vitamin D!!!

Where’s your favourite ‘you time’ spot?
At the spa with my girlfriends. I know it includes other people, but for my birthday this year my 2 other “mama” girlfriends generously got me a day at the spa, but the best part had to be that we all did it together. It’s so much more fun to gab a bit while you’re getting pedis and laugh at each other when you have facial masks on and look like a mummy.

What do you like to do to unwind/revitalise?
On the weekends, we take our 70kg St Bernard to the woods where there is a “dog beach” and let her run around. It’s hilarious and a wonderful distraction from everyday city life. Our daughter has absolutely no fear of dogs so she chases all of them, as does our dog! Walking around the woods, throwing sticks for our dog, getting all muddy – that’s a good day for us.

What’s a parenting challenge you’ve faced in the last year?
I think we’d have to say feeding. Our daughter is an extremely picky eater (which I read in the NY Times they say that runs in the family, and I was a VERY picky eater, so guess it’s my fault!) so getting her to eat a healthy, balanced diet is hard. She picks out anything green from her food (which she calls “leaves”) and we have to puree all veggies to make sure they’re invisible to her. Even though I was a chef by training, my little food critic is by far the hardest person to please at the table! The best advice I have to parents about this difficult period is to not ever force it, because it only creates more stress and a power struggle. Fortify each bite they take with vitamin and mineral-packed ingredients, and they’ll be fine. They’re programmed not to starve themselves!

How do you balance everything? (e.g work, family, etc)
I don’t! I think that’s the key. Before I became a mother, I was a bit of a control freak, but as any parent knows, once you have a child that all goes out the window. Giving up control is liberating and allows for more fun. In regards to balancing everything, my personal belief is that you can have everything, but not all at the same time. For instance, I didn’t start my business until my daughter was almost two, so I could dedicate myself completely to raising her. We knew that it would be a challenge, but we wanted to focus on one thing at a time to be able to give it our all. I think that’s where many people get upset/frustrated, is that they want it all at the same time, but you really can’t (unless you have an army of people helping you). It’s best to prioritize and figure out what means most to you and go for that and the other stuff later.

What’s one thing your daughter does that melts your heart?
Our daughter is the master manipulator so when she wants to see me nearly fall to my knees, she comes running to me with her arms open saying “miss you mama” and of course I drop whatever I’m doing and scoop her up for a big bear hug. Gets me every time!

(Joslyn is also the owner of online kid’s store Shak Shuka)

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